Mirror... Mirror ... and the Soul

What selfies are really saying!

Photo by Dimitra Peppa on Unsplash

Dear friends,

As a travel consultant, I always tell my clients—half-jokingly—not to fall too hard for the resort photos. “Keep in mind,” I say with a grin, “even I look better in pictures!” Lighting, filters, and just the right angle can turn any tired Tuesday face into a vacation-ready model. It’s all a bit of illusion—and we know it.

But the other day, I caught myself doing the same thing.

I was on a Zoom call and noticed an option I’d never paid much attention to before: “Touch up my appearance.” So, I slid the little bar to the right… and voilà! My face smoothed out, my tired eyes looked a bit more alive, and I suddenly looked like someone who gets eight hours of sleep and drinks kale smoothies. I wasn’t fooling anyone, but I didn’t mind the upgrade.

Later that evening, while scrolling through Reddit, I noticed something striking. Dozens of young people were posting photos of themselves—not for fun, but to be rated. Some wanted advice about their appearance. Others were simply asking the world, “Am I attractive?” “Do I look better than I did a year ago?” “Would someone love me like this?”

And I thought—this isn’t just vanity.
This is vulnerability.
This is the soul, aching to be seen.

These posts weren’t cries for attention. They were cries for affirmation—a longing not just to be noticed but to be valued. Not just to be told “You look good”—but to hear, “You matter.”

The body might be the photo, but the soul is the one hitting “post.” And it’s quietly whispering: Please see me. Please tell me I’m worth something.

Our culture tells people they are what they look like. That appearance is everything. So when someone feels invisible or unsure of their worth, they reach for what they can control—hair, makeup, a filter, a pose. And then they send it out like a message in a bottle, hoping someone will pull it from the current and say, You’re okay. You’re beautiful. You matter.

And let’s be honest—most of us aren’t so different.

Yes—to come full circle—I have a photo I use in my email signature that tends to raise some eyebrows. It was taken on a cruise… in the 90s. One friend saw it and laughed: “That’s false advertising!”

Maybe it is. But I liked how I looked.
Maybe I still wish I looked like that.
Maybe we all have that version of ourselves we hope the world sees.

But here's what I'm learning to lean into:
God’s not in love with my best photo.
He’s in love with me. The real me.
The tired me. The joyful me. The aging me. The unsure me.

And His gaze—steady, faithful, tender—is the only one that truly satisfies.

That’s the message our world is starving for—not a lecture, not a debate.
Just someone who will look past the filter and speak to the soul:
You are loved.
You are not a number.
You are not false advertising.
You are wonderfully made.

“The Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
— 1 Samuel 16:7

Warmly,

John Henry

P.S. If you'd like to see some of those resort photos I mentioned—just let me know! Aruba, for example, is one of those places that doesn’t need much touching up. It’s beautiful… just the way it is.
Kind of like you.
Right now. As you are.